Never Again...
by Bliss Saijin
Summary: He never had a chance, cursing himself always for the miskate... but she comes alone this time... it's now or never, Ascot knows what he must do...
1. Open Old Wounds.

            Here I am again finding myself doing another Rayearth fic. Hum… I figure by the time I'm done with Raywaerth fics, I'll have around twenty or so, but one never knows. Anywhom, I figured I'd mold something with Umi and Ascot (after reading the manga over-and-over I realized how God damn cute he is). It won't be as long as my usual fic though, I'm just annoyed at one of my many Spike Spiegel figures I have in my room, in this instance it doesn't want to stand up properly, thus, I took a break from yelling at to 'stand up' and start this (in any case, I've been meaning to do this fic lately… hum… I guess the movie _Signs_ is right: nothing is a coincidence.) Now, this little deal here is going to be pretty fluffy, enough where I would give a 'Mokona waning', meaning it's so fluffed up I consider it another form of Mokona.

            I don't own Rayearth, and it bites. CLAMP dose, and that is a very odd company name… but nonetheless, they own it, this is just some crap slapped on Microsoft Word to stop me from killing my Spike figurine. Enjoy.

Never Again… 

Open Old Wounds.

            It burst through strands of wheat, towering above the field of gold and soaring into the air. It buzzed passed the soft clouds, higher, swifter, and stronger into the sky. It screamed bravely like an eagle, it's broad wings flapping powerfully, an adventurous thrill filling its bright green eyes, and a youthful man riding on it's muscular back, cheering the creature on as he felt the speedy wind rip welcomingly through is brunette locks.  

            "Madas!" the man shouted joyfully to his creature.

            It screeched boldly, thrusting its body forward.

            "Is it possible to soar higher?" he called to his creature, grabbing into its feathers and speaking closer to its head.

            The creature said nothing; it only jolted forward once more, suddenly switching direction and climbing more into the sky, the clouds thickening until there was none above to pass through, all below. 

            The mighty Griffin-beast looped in and out of the top layer of clouds, spinning gracefully and diving down some every-so-often. The man on it's back laughing happily, holding so tight his knuckles were white as sheets. He felt so light on his Griffin, so carefree about the troubles surrounding his life and so much more attentive to the tiny things making him happy. He was free, if only for a short time, but time wouldn't stop him, nothing in Cephiro could end his independence in the short moment his held it, or at least he hoped.

            Madas flung into a quick spin trying to abruptly halt itself in mid-air, almost throwing the childish man of its back.

            "Madas! What is wrong my friend?" the man glanced into its eyes, noticing it glared straight above them, watching intently to an odd spectacle… he could see a refection his its eye, the sky just over them seemed to open.

            The man swung his head upward, squinting and becoming rather uneasy to the winds picking up around them. He never peered away, watching as the sky open greater and a delicate figure rapidly fell out of the portal-like gap and into the sky.

            "Madas! Now, fly to their side!" the man commanded knowing not weather the being was good or evil.

            The Griffin grunted and sparing no further seconds dove down past the floating mound of clouds they had just ascended to. Wings erect from its body and limbs safely nestled up to its body, Madas spun downward as quickly as the laws of force would allow.

            They passed the figure falling into the clouds, pausing beneath where it would plummet further, waiting and hoping they were alright. Closer and closer they fell, their features more clear and sudden memories flooding back with each note to them.

            With a calm _thud_, the being safely onto the back of Madas, moaning some and blowing a few sapphire strands of hair from their face. _Sapphire hair…_

Their frame was so much smaller than his own, feminine features lining their chest, beautiful legs that fitting to be soft as the finest silk, and wonderful long hair, hair as blue as the calm ocean, whipping in the wind like placid waves in the stunning sea.

            "I despise that part…" they muttered, propping upright and rubbing their head slightly.

            _It… couldn't be… she had left for good years ago… she is back._

"What are you doing here…?" it was somewhat of a stuttered whisper that escape through is knotted throat, but it managed to catch the eye of the being beside him.

            "Oh my," she titled her head toward him, "I wasn't expecting you do catch my fall Ascot, but I'm joyful that you have."

            He said nothing, only forcing an anxious grin to his lips and praising the Gods of Cephiro that his curtain of bangs hid most of his blushing face. Was she back, could it be the truth? Or was his mind projecting tricks once again?

            "U-Umi… that is really you… truly it is…" he began to reach for a reassuring touch to her face, but hesitated his hand back to his torso, knowing much better.

            She laughed warmly, her cerulean eyes lighting up with utter joy to see such an innocent child cheerfully within a man's body. 

            What was she doing here? There was no danger; Cephiro was in great shape, only getting better with each new day and the willful hope of its entire people. Had she returned just for a an escape against her world… it sounded outright unlivable from the tales of her 'skyscrapers', 'smog' and 'cars with traffic' she spoke of… did she come her to see someone? Had she passed through worlds to be in a wish of forever drifting into a beautiful dream while the arms of love held her away from the nightmares?

            The thoughts of both her in his arms and another's shot shivers straight down his back… some of pure delight, some of jealousy and hatred…

            "I am here, mirages don't fall from the sky," she smiled shortly, pausing to sigh out some of her excitement, "I just wanted to spend some time with the people I rarely see, but love so much…"

            _Love_. She said love… did she love him? She couldn't… she spoke of all the citizens and creatures of Cephiro… not just him.

            He could sense his heart tearing again, a feeling he had forgotten and something he prayed he would never bleed from again. Though he adored seeing a smile blossom onto her face and felt his heart sink into his stomach when she wasn't near, the truth was each time her eyes met with his, every instant she harmlessly held his hand, and the hints of playful love she would smear with her words… it was like a elegant rose… so gorgeous to the eye, but harmful to touch… he could never tough her, to hold her would only stab the thorns deeper, for he could never have her…

            His grin faded to a smile… he had to show something comfortable toward her out of the though of her worries, he spoke, once more trying to mask his heart beginning to fall to pieces once more, "I suppose you wish to see the castle… Umi…"

            He didn't express too much emotion into the words, he refused to let Umi fret on his behalf… but she saw, her eyes venturing past his smiling face and down to his weeping heart.

            Ascot questioned Madas to jolt toward the castle, and he did with lightning speed. He kept his eyes on the path Madas flew, whispering to himself on how he wished Umi wouldn't ask anything… just be with him peacefully for what felt like the last time they'd see one another… his prays in vain.

            "Ascot," Umi began, tilting her head over her shoulder to make sure he was watching her talk, "You are troubled…"

            "No, it's alright Umi, I haven't felt better in years…" he lied with a fake smile.

            "I can hear it in the quiver of your voice…"

            Damn it. Now he had to make up an excuse, and a good one at that… but nothing justly convening came out.

            "Well… let's just say it's not you." another horrid lie.

            "I doubt that…" she turned away once she whispered her thoughts depressingly.

            Both kept their hold of silence the remaining time back, Ascot running through what she had said, thinking how easy it was to see his pain, and how much her last sentence sound like the exact twinge he lost hours of sleep to every night.

            Her terms informative, but her voice in a trembling whisper…


	2. The Night Hearts Fell...

Never Again…

The Night Hearts Fell…

            She had prepared a most extravagant feast, roasting a type of turkey-like creature, warming fluffy mashed potatoes that reminded her of the clouds she felt threw, bright green flowered and leaves where thrown together with a type of golden dressing, sweet to the tongue, and as a drink, she had created a special red wine with little alcohol mixed in.

            It had been quite an evening for Umi, first having to explain how she was the only one returning to Ferio and Lantis… though there would be no worries, their beloved red and green Knights would come, this, she was sure of. She traveled to the shoreline, watching the waves glitter in the setting sun with her Mashin, spending time with the legendary Dragon of the seas. Celese spoke of all the wonderful things now in Cephiro, the life coming to full potential once again with the will of the people and the selfless act Hikaru put into action for the choice of the Pillar.

            Then came to the dinner, the part of her day she valued the most thus far. Everyone was there, Clef asking all sorts of questions on how she returned, Caldina happily hugging her until she couldn't breathe, and even timid Ascot was there… though Umi questioned his actions above any others. He was very quiet, eating little, mostly picking at it, and rarely smiling… if he did, it was always crooked and force. 

            She smiled warmly last she saw of him… he didn't smile back, and to add to the guilt creeping into her, he vanished rather swiftly after his meal.

            "Hum…" Umi muttered as she collected Ascot's plates, "Where could he run off to…?"

            "What was that?" Ferio overheard, drawing closer to her and snatching up soiled dishes as well.

"Oh…" she paused to sigh out what fears she couldn't hold in, "It's Ascot… he dashed off somewhere…"

            Ferio shrugged, "I wouldn't worry, he's alone a lot… mostly working on magic or somethin'…"

            Taking the plates from Umi and telling her to enjoy her stay, Ferio walked into the shadows of a hallway, off to clean the scraps left from Umi's divine meal.

            Now she was on her own, no one in the room with her, no one to tell her what can and can't be done. Umi giggled some, spinning around and smiling as her dress glided around her waist. She remembered the festivals Cephiro held for the Knights, she smiled at the thought of Fuu and Ferio's first kiss, and the quite funny memory of Lantis never letting Hikaru from his sight… she remember how she never had such an experience, being passed around from man to man, never stayed with one, never just one love.

            _He_ would watch though, his hidden eyes never leaving her body, not even when dancing, she could see it from the corners of her own eyes. Whenever she snuck a glance to him in hopes of teasingly catching his staring, he'd shy away, moving his face and body in a profile view, the side which she could distinguish red as Hikaru's hair.

            Umi took her seat again, holding her chin in the palms of her hands, her elbows resting ever so softly on the wooden table. Her mind flowed with wonderful memories of her adventures in Cephiro and all the wonderful times she created along with her friends. Every thought that would zip through her mind held _him_ in it, sometimes angry, sometimes joyful, be her memories of him had yet to find a stored though of his frown toward her… or at least until this evening. She was accustomed to his face bright with happiness, his eyes, though behind a vale of hair, always dancing with laughter, and his smile wide and never fading. But after dinner was different, disturbing her some… he wouldn't smile to her, no matter how much she laughed warmly, making little comical remarks in hopes that at least a smirk would tug on his lips. No luck. 

            She noticed how much she thought of him, catching herself visualizing how he had glared at her before he disappeared. 

            _What have I done? What did I say… what did I do…?_

She picked her head up from her hands, looking off into the darkness of the muted room, murmurs escaping her knotted throat, "Why am I thinking of him?"

            She shook her head, backing the chair out and standing directly up. She paused, balling her hand into a tight fist, resting it on her collarbone, tilting her head down until she felt the tip of her chin brush over her index finger.

            _This is nonsense… I can beat this!_

            With an intensely inhaled breath, she straightened her arms to the sides of her body, trotting away from the table and gliding down the bedroom corridor. A laugh echoed through the hall, her happy face feeling the breeze from her running with great speed.

            She could see the doorway to her room now, the idea of sleep hit her, and how she enjoyed that idea of rest. As she slowed her pace, her eyes were able to properly adjust to the dimness now… something wasn't right. Her door was wide open and there, leaning on her doorway, was a figure. Tall, muscular, arms folded… 

            "Lantis…?" Umi called out, walking near.

            The figure lifted its head up, their arms losing some, "Oh, I was wondering when you would come."

            A grin flashed onto her visage, she knew now, and felt welcomed. Amused that she could talk to him, she leaped gracefully down the rest of the hallway, "Ascot, I'm glad I found you, I…"

            She couldn't finish, not with the unforgiving way he looked at her. His lips were curled into a frown, a hostile frown, a damp line traced down the side of his cheek, and his hair shading over the eyes that created the damp outline of a tear. He was barley hunching over now, his lower back the only part leaning on the dark entrance.

            "My God, Ascot!" she latched her hands around one of his shivering arms, lowering her own body as he slid down the doorway frame, "I figured something was wrong, now tell me please, I… I wish to help you."

            With a heavy sight, he carefully tugged his arm away from her grip, turning his head somewhat toward her, "Why did you come back?"

            She was uncertain to answer, the query stunning her for a moment, "To see this land of beau-"

            "Why did you come back?" he repeated, now fully looking at her.

            Her expression softened, he wouldn't accept that being the truth, not with the hint of guilt looming behind her words.

            "I wanted to see someone… someone I haven't seen for years… someone, no matter how much I tried, I could never erase from my mind…"

            Ascot gazed profoundly into her sparkling eyes for the longest time, surprised she allowed his emerald eyes to venture over hers.

            "It is stupid of me… keeping you awake like this," Ascot stood up, leaving Umi dazed and confused below him.

            "You'll just leave it like that? I… don't understand…" Umi stumbled to get up, needing the hold into the doorway just to kneel.

            He knelt to her side, brushing away the azure bangs covering her watering eyes, she saw him once more, his eyes holding so much sympathy.

            "Welcome to my world…"  


	3. Death to Agony.

Never Again…

Death to Agony.

            "Your world…" she repeated desolately to herself.

            Why _had_ she come back? Even Umi herself couldn't find an appropriate answer without knowing deep down it was a lie.

            She felt alone on Earth, not by friends, she had friends, all dear to her, and her close friends, Hikaru and Fuu always be her side when down or in danger, but they had something more than friendship as well, something Umi wanted well before her knowledge of Cephiro.

            She'd always try not to dodge what the old saying call 'a bullet', but it was flipped, it dodged her. 

            Something accented her room; she saw it enter the window faintly from the corner of her eye. It was light, sunlight… it was now time for the sun to wake. She envied the sun for even he was able to sleep when she couldn't.

            _Your… world… _

The words never left her head… they were her insomniac drug as well as the memories of his face, they way he didn't want her to see the torture reflecting in his eyes, and not just from his own soul, a reflection of hers also.

Your world his pain, all suffering because I'm too much of an idiot to see sooner… I never asked enough, never spent time enough… I never though you viewed me more than a close companion… Now I do, you gave me your pain when I left, lying dormant until I saw you once more… Now I… I…

"I've fallen into love…" she said her last thoughts, making sure it was truthfully what she felt rather than some idea created up by her sheer weariness.

Umi began to doubt it was her exhaustion bombarding her mind with outrageous things… the way she had an urge to run straight to him once she first arrived, how she felt so much more alive being with him on that mystical creature, and how much it hurt when she picked up the tremble in his voice. Her first assumption to all this yesterday was just being so thrilled to be within Cephiro that she felt the emotions of others, but as time when onward, she saw how she was happy, angered, and miserable when he was… then there was her most important clue, the dream. A hallucination in her sleep that sprung a shock to her, a dream shameful, but not without it's pleasures…  

White satin sheets covered them, bedding filled with downy feathers below them, and their robes and armor scatted around them… her laughter echoed throughout the vast plane of heavenly white, a deeper laugh suddenly joining with hers. He dove his strong hands into her hair, her head lowering and her arms curling around his neck. Head tilted to the side, her lips pressed tenderly on his jaw line, flirting harmlessly with him until her head was pulled where her eyes were identically aligned with his… he had her now. Thrusting forward, he found her lips sealed with his, kissing her affectionately, but it only poured fuel to an already raging flame. He had to have more than just a supple kiss, his kisses were stronger now, but the passion only grew on…

She leg go, not to discontinue, only to catch the breath he stole charmingly from her, to brush away the wild bangs of his face and his eyes dance with excitement, and to whisper before she once more embraced the taste of his lips '_I am forever yours, Ascot, my love_'.

…Such a dream was so out of place from her usual imaginings of herself as a child chasing an ice-cream truck; it woke her up in a cold sweat and left her in a stressfully confused state for days. 

She saw now, she saw what her heart cried for, but her mind brutally wouldn't allow, she denied it for so long, the distress continuously put dormant, never spoke of, never known…

That dream was a warning, a final attempt to show her what she felt, not what she thought. She didn't heave the caution sooner… now she would forever walk beneath a dark rain cloud snickering wickedly at her ignorance.

The cream sheets of her bed whipped behind her, her body ramming into the door at a horrid attempt to stand. She was weak; a restless night of weeping in confusing had paid its ruthless toll.

A limp hand fell onto the doorknob, twisting it open when her body wasn't ready. She spilled out of her room, crashing to the floor with a dejected moan sliding below her breath. Her eyelids becoming weights on her face… sleep was coming, after she had spent every second of the night thinking and crying, after she had tossed for hours, after she couldn't let herself deny her heart anymore, blessed sleep opened the path for her dreams…

Was she hurt? Did a beast shatter through her window…? _Was she alive?_

Ascot found himself sprinting down the dim passageway straight to the site of rumble. He wouldn't live to forgive himself if she beyond doubt was gone forever, particularly after the ominous talk he held with her earlier in the night.

She wasn't even conscious, the blood not even circulating well throughout her features: she was as white as a phantom. She was breathing, but barely as the little height her chest would rise with each new breath. The faint blue nightgown clung to her body still, no blood or slashes were visible on her body, and the only thing untidy in the room was the bed. She had fainted, this he was sure, but his question of why still went unreturned…

Gliding his left arm under her neck and his right over her thy, Ascot tugged her frail body from the ground until her head dropped to his shoulder. Left hand gripping her shoulder tightly, right swiping the strands of locks past her shuteyes, he pressed the back of his hand to her cheek. Cold, cold as the night breezes.

Gasping vaguely, he gathered the rest of her icy body into his arms, springing right into her room, and pouncing onto the unmade bed. Umi was with him the seconds he took to dash in, she was with him now, being lovingly watched over by watering jade eyes, sturdy arms keeping her from falling once more to a stiff floor, sweet whispers filling her ears and protecting her mind for the web of nightmares… it was so familiar… it… was just like his wish, his solemn pray of this very moment on the back of his stealth Griffin. The Gods were smiling right on him… on _them_.

"_Asc…_" a petite voice struggled to whimper his name.

"Umi!" Ascot shouted, his heart banging on his ribcage, "…Don't talk, just rest."

She sighed, nuzzling her head on the silk robes shrouded his chest, "Never again will I…"

His finger to her lips sealed the fate to her sentence, his quivering body able to speak so daringly again, "Don't speak…"

Within a instant that made all her woe and sobbing she had done worth while, his head dropped, his eyes only staying within hers a second more before their lips met, making all the ache of the history seemingly pointless.

She wouldn't hide it, ashamed she had done it for so long, afraid he wouldn't forgive her… but he was near now, embracing her as everlastingly ecstasy in love, taking her last amount of strength and her all-the-while adoring it, pulling her back flat into the bed and enfolding himself on her…

His forehead on hers, joy filled eyes watching over one another sincerely, and tears of apology racing down her face, Umi drank in the soothing sent of Ascot's body, curling to him more to collect his heat, knowing never again would she trouble him so…

~*~

Ta-da, my work for the Ascot and Umi peeps… even though it's fairly short. My apologies for that, it was just something I've been putting off, not to mention busy-work to keep me from killing my Spike figure… that reminds me, I have to run off and get the Cowboy Bebop DVDs before this storms rolls in, Gotta run! Catch you later!

~ Bliss S.


End file.
